Yankee tickets…. nice

Found out that my Mom and Dad got Yankee tickets for the August 25th game against the Blue Jays, that’ll be great. Third base line in the middle tier, which isn’t bad at all. So that was some great news for the day.

Also found out I will be working with at a credit union this summer, so that’s good too. 10-2 every week day, which is great hours.

Hmm, what else… school’s almost over so I’ve been really busy with school work lately, finished my pig/plant projects and wrote 3 essays in about a week. Nothing much has been happening but this weekend will be a good break, though I will have to begin to study for some tests. Anyway, that’s about it for now.

My dog Molly after getting her haircut. 

A Letter From the President (Received in E-Mail)

I got this in an e-mail, thought it was good, think about it.

WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is now complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world’s nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don’t care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a l ot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty – starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, “darn tootin.”

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won’t forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.

God bless America.
Thank you and good night.
(If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.)

Wow, that’s real mature…

Read about this here, Frank had a great summary of it…

If you want to see the video, download it here.

Howard Dean is a joke.

Today’s "Ju-ism"

Here’s what Ju said to me today when he was talking about some girl cutting him off when he was walking to class:

Ju: And then she turned right near me.
Kevin: Wait, in a car or something?
Ju: No, but the girl was pretty big…

I dissected a fetal pig today, and thought it would be bad at first because of the smell, but it wasn’t bad at all. Looks like this (don’t look if you don’t like organs and stuff like that…). A very non-eventful day really, but that’s ok. Going to be studying tonight which blows but hopefully the Yankees will pull off a miracle and actually win today…

Dane Cook and Tourgasm

Dane Cook came, and I haven’t laughed this hard since me and MVP were sitting right next to and talking to Ju on the phone, pretending to be a frat kid inviting him to a party, and having him believe it. It was great, the opening guys were funny as hell and the whole thing was just huge for SU. He did two sold out shows here, and this was the only place where he did two shows. Some really funny highlights, might not be exact quotes:

“The one kid that everyone hates in every group, and everyone makes fun of him, you know who he is. His name is Bryan, and not the one that has an ‘i’ in there, but the one that has a ‘y!’ Yeah, that’s the kid!” (Bryan was going crazy after that one, the girl that everyone made fun of was named Karen…)

“Someone just sh!t on the coats!”

“I want to look through the painting in my dream house and just use those trap doors! BAM!”

“I walked over to the kid, hit his ice cream out of his hand and into his face, and yelled, ‘Don’t forget me!’ He’ll tell his family and friends, some guy ran over and hit the ice cream in my face and said ‘Don’t f*cking forget me!’ Remember, he added the f*ck, I didn’t say that originally…”

Check out the rest of the tour dates here. Awesome show, they filmed it too so it’ll be on either Comedy Central, HBO or on a DVD, so check it out. That’s about all for now, got an early day tomorrow. Later.

A tribute to the soldiers

Just found this online as a tribute to the soldiers fighting for us.

Lonestar – I’m Already There (Music Video, 56k’ers beware!)

Another E-Mail….

I got this in an e-mail, and I agree. Leave comments if you like.

——————————————

No Longer Silent

Paul Harvey says, “I don’t believe in Santa Claus, but I’m not going to sue somebody for singing ‘Santa Claus Is Coming To Town.’ I don’t agree with Darwin,but I didn’t go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his theory of evolution. Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 0-second prayer before a football game.

So what’s the big deal? It’s not like somebody is up there reading the entire book of Acts. They’re just talking to a God they believe in and asking him to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game.

“But it’s a Christian prayer,” some will argue. Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles. According to our very own phone book, Christian churches outnumber all others better than 200-1. So what would you expect – somebody chanting Hare Krishna? If I went to a football game in Jerusalem, I would expect to hear a Jewish prayer. If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer. If I went to a ping-pong match in China, I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha. And I wouldn’t be offended. It wouldn’t bother me one bit. When in Rome. “But what about atheists?” is another argument. What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We’re not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds.

If that’s asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of earplugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer. Unfortunately, one or two will make that call. One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don’t think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world’s foundations. Christians are just sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handful of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying. God, help us. And if that last sentence offends you, well, just sue me.

The silent majority has been silent too long. It’s time we let that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard, that the vast majority don’t care what they want. It is time the majority rules! It’s time we tell them, you don’t have to pray, you don’t have to say the pledge of allegiance, you don’t have to believe in God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we will honor your right. But by golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away. We are fighting back. And we WILL WIN! God bless us one and all, especially those who denounce Him. God bless America, despite all her faults, she is still the greatest nation of all. God bless our service men who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God.”

May 2005 be the year the silent majority is heard and we put God back as the foundation of our families and institutions. Keep looking up. IN GOD WE TRUST.

Another Monday has begun…..

Probably one of the coolest things I have ever heard of in sports…. check it out here.

Some girl was walking down the steps today with an iPod and was really blasting music pretty loud, and I heard it. I was laughing because I heard Numa Numa blasting in someone’s ear…

Not an eventful day really, just scheduled my classes, and my schedule is so far looking like this. Not too bad, lots of science but I am probably going for Biology so I will need them, at least no Organic Chemistry until junior year.

That’s about it, gotta write a paper for Wed, and I want to get it done since Dane Cook is coming tomorrow!!!

Later mengs.

Close to Home

Thought that this comic was funny, check it out. Back to working on my essay